Visiting a Care Home: Questions to Ask

Most people visit a care home feeling overwhelmed and not quite sure what they're supposed to be looking for. You walk around, smile politely, see some nice communal areas, and leave thinking "that seemed fine" without really knowing if it's the right place for your parent.

The problem is that a care home can look perfect on a viewing and still be completely wrong for your family. Or it might have some rough edges but actually be ideal. You need to dig deeper than the tour you're given.

This guide covers the questions that actually matter - the ones that reveal how a home operates day-to-day, not just what they want you to see. Some of these questions might feel awkward to ask, but any decent care home will appreciate that you're taking this seriously.

Before You Visit

Book Multiple Viewings at Different Times

Don't just accept a 2pm Tuesday slot. That's when homes are at their best - residents have had lunch, afternoon activities are starting, and everything's tidy. Ask to visit at different times: early morning to see breakfast routines, late afternoon to see tea time, or even early evening.

If a home says you can only visit at specific times or needs lots of notice, that's a red flag. Good homes are confident enough to show you around whenever.

Bring Someone With You

Take a family member or friend. Two sets of eyes notice different things, and it's helpful to discuss impressions afterwards. Plus, if your parent is coming along and gets tired or overwhelmed, someone can sit with them while you ask the harder questions.

Check the CQC Report First

Look up the home's Care Quality Commission rating and latest inspection report at www.cqc.org.uk. This tells you what inspectors found recently - staffing issues, care quality concerns, safeguarding problems. Read the full report, not just the rating.

An "Outstanding" home might be brilliant or might just be good at performing for inspections. A "Requires Improvement" home might have had temporary issues that have been fixed, or might have ongoing problems. The report gives you context for what to look for during your visit.

Questions About Daily Care

What's the staff-to-resident ratio, and does it change at night?

This matters more than almost anything else. A home might have great facilities and lovely décor, but if they're understaffed, residents don't get the attention they need.

During the day, you want to see at least one carer for every six to eight residents, ideally better. At night it's typically lower - maybe one carer for ten to twelve residents. Ask specifically about night staffing because that's when many homes cut corners.

Watch how staff interact with residents during your visit. Are carers rushed and stressed, or do they have time to chat? Are call bells being answered quickly? Can you see residents waiting ages for assistance?

How do you handle personal care and dignity?

This is awkward to discuss but essential. Ask how they ensure privacy during washing, dressing, and toileting. Do residents have a regular carer who knows their preferences, or does it vary daily? How long does morning personal care take - are residents rushed, or is there time to do things at their own pace?

If your parent has specific needs around modesty or cultural preferences for personal care, raise this now. A good home will accommodate these things as standard.

What happens if my parent needs more care than expected?

Needs change. Someone who moves in fairly independently might develop dementia or have a stroke. Ask what level of care they can provide in-house, and at what point they'd need to move to a nursing home.

Also ask about costs - do fees increase significantly if care needs go up? Some homes have a flat rate regardless of needs, others charge more for higher dependency. You need to know this upfront.

Can I see a sample care plan?

Care plans show how the home assesses and responds to individual needs. Ask to see an anonymised example. It should be detailed and personalised, not generic tick-box stuff. Look for evidence that it's reviewed regularly and involves the resident and family.

Questions About Daily Life

What's a typical day like here?

Don't accept vague answers about "varied activities." Ask them to walk you through yesterday specifically. What time did residents get up? What was for breakfast, and how long did people have to eat? What activities happened? What did residents do between activities?

This reveals whether there's genuine structure and stimulation, or whether residents spend most of the day sitting in lounges with the TV on.

Can residents choose when they get up and go to bed?

Some homes operate like institutions - everyone gets up at 7am, breakfast is between 8-9am, bed by 9pm. Others are flexible and work around individual preferences.

If your parent has always been a night owl who reads until midnight and gets up at 10am, can the home accommodate that? Or will they be forced into a routine that makes them miserable?

How often do activities actually happen?

Many homes have an impressive activities timetable on the wall. Ask how often these actually run, and how many residents typically participate. Is there an activities coordinator employed full-time, or is it something carers do when they have spare time (which means it often doesn't happen)?

Look at notice boards and ask what happened this week. If they can't give you specific examples, the activities programme probably exists more on paper than in practice.

What's the food like, and can residents choose?

Ask if you can see this week's menu. Is there genuine choice at each meal, or is it one option everyone gets? Can they accommodate preferences, allergies, and cultural dietary requirements?

Better still, if you're visiting at mealtime, ask if you can see the dining room during lunch or tea. How's the food presented? Are residents being rushed? Do staff sit and eat with residents or just serve and leave? These small details reveal a lot about the home's culture.

How do you handle residents with dementia?

Even if your parent doesn't have dementia now, many residents will. Ask how they support confused or distressed residents. Do they have specialist dementia training? How do they manage challenging behaviour without just medicating people?

Watch during your visit - are confused residents being gently redirected and reassured, or ignored and left to wander?

Questions About Policies and Practicalities

What are your visiting hours?

Some homes have completely open visiting - you can come whenever you like. Others have restricted hours. This matters if you work unusual shifts or want to visit during evenings and weekends.

Also ask about staying overnight if your parent becomes very ill. Can you sleep in their room? Is there a relatives' room? Some families want to be there at the end, and not all homes make this easy.

Can residents bring their own furniture?

Making a room feel personal helps enormously with settling in. Can your parent bring their own bed, chair, photos, and ornaments? Are there limits on what's allowed?

Some homes provide all furniture and don't allow much personalisation. That's fine for some people, but devastating for others who need familiar surroundings.

What's your policy on hospital admissions?

If your parent needs hospital treatment, do they keep the room and can they return, or do they lose their place? This varies by home and it's crucial to know upfront. Losing a care home place while someone's in hospital for a few weeks creates enormous stress.

How do you communicate with families?

Ask how they'll keep you updated. Regular phone calls? Email updates? A family portal? What happens if there's an incident or fall - do they tell you immediately, or only when you next visit?

Also ask about care plan reviews - how often do these happen, and are families invited to attend?

What's your complaints procedure?

Every home should have a clear process for raising concerns. Ask what happens if you're unhappy about something. Who do you speak to? How quickly do they investigate? Can you see their recent complaints log and how issues were resolved?

A home that gets defensive about this question isn't one you want. Good homes know they're not perfect and have systems for dealing with problems constructively.

Questions About Staff

What training do staff receive?

Ask about induction training for new staff, ongoing training requirements, and specialist training (dementia care, end-of-life care, moving and handling). How often is training refreshed?

Statutory minimum training isn't enough. Look for homes where staff are encouraged to develop skills and gain qualifications.

What's your staff turnover like?

High turnover is a massive red flag. It suggests poor pay, bad management, or difficult working conditions - none of which bode well for care quality.

If staff change constantly, residents never build relationships with carers, and continuity of care suffers. Ask how long the current manager has been there, and whether many staff have worked there for years. Longevity suggests a stable, well-run home.

Are staff agency or permanent?

Heavy reliance on agency staff means inconsistency. Agency carers don't know residents' preferences, routines, or needs. They're often just filling gaps in rotas.

Occasional agency use is normal - covering sickness and holidays. But if half the staff on duty are agency workers, that's a problem.

Questions About Costs

What exactly is included in the weekly fee?

Some homes include everything. Others charge extras for things like hairdressing, chiropody, toiletries, trips out, or even laundry. These costs can add up to hundreds per month.

Get a written list of what's included and what costs extra. Ask for examples of typical monthly extras for residents at a similar care level to your parent.

How often do fees increase?

Fees usually go up annually, but by how much? Ask what the increases have been over the past three years. Some homes raise fees by inflation, others by much more.

Also ask about notice periods for fee increases. You need time to arrange funding if costs suddenly jump.

What happens if we run out of money?

If your parent is self-funding and their money runs low, can they stay and transition to local authority funding? Or would they need to move?

This isn't a comfortable question, but care can last years and deplete savings faster than expected. You need to know whether you'll be forced to move your parent if their money runs out.

What to Observe (Not Ask)

Does it smell clean?

Unpleasant odours - stale urine, body odour, or strong air freshener masking smells - suggest inadequate cleaning or rushed personal care. A home should smell neutral or of cleaning products and cooking, not bodily functions.

Don't judge too harshly if you catch one unpleasant smell in passing - accidents happen. But if the whole building has an underlying bad smell, that's a serious concern.

Are residents clean and appropriately dressed?

Look at residents you pass. Are they washed, dressed, and groomed? Or are people sitting in stained clothing with unbrushed hair? This tells you whether personal care is being done properly.

Also check if residents are dressed appropriately for the weather and time of day - not in nightclothes at 2pm, or in heavy jumpers in an overheated room.

How do staff speak to residents?

Listen to how carers interact with residents. Are they respectful, patient, and friendly? Or are they speaking to adults like children, rushing people, or having conversations about residents as if they're not there?

You want to hear staff calling residents by their preferred names (not "dear," "love," or "darling" unless that's what the resident likes), explaining what they're doing, and giving choices rather than instructions.

Are residents engaged or just sitting?

If you visit during the day, what are residents doing? Are they participating in activities, chatting to each other, reading, watching something they've chosen? Or are they lined up in chairs around the edge of a lounge, staring into space with a TV blaring that nobody's watching?

Some residents will always prefer to sit quietly, but if everyone looks disengaged and bored, that tells you something about the quality of life there.

Is the place clean and well-maintained?

Check standards in residents' rooms, not just the communal areas shown on the tour. Are bathrooms clean? Is equipment in good condition? Are there trip hazards like frayed carpets or clutter in corridors?

Small maintenance issues are normal, but general shabbiness or uncleanliness suggests underfunding or poor management.

Red Flags to Watch For

Some things should make you seriously reconsider:

• Not letting you visit without an appointment or at certain times
• Staff being evasive or defensive when you ask questions
• High staff turnover or heavy agency use
• Residents looking unkempt, bored, or distressed
• Multiple serious concerns in recent CQC reports
• Persistent unpleasant smells
• Manager hasn't visited the floor or spoken to residents during your tour
• Pressure to sign contracts immediately without time to think
• Vague or inconsistent answers about costs

Trust your instincts. If something feels off, it probably is.

After Your Visit

Don't Decide Immediately

Visit at least two or three homes before making a decision. Even if you love the first one, you need context for comparison. And sometimes a home that seemed perfect on first viewing shows cracks when you return.

Ask to Visit Again

Come back, ideally at a different time of day. Bring your parent if they didn't come the first time. Many homes encourage multiple visits and are happy for potential residents to come for lunch or to join an activity.

Speak to Other Families

If you see other visitors during your tour, ask if they'd mind sharing their experience. Most families are honest about how they're finding the home - both positive and negative.

Some homes have family forums or feedback groups. Ask if you can speak to members before committing.

Check Recent Reviews

Look at recent reviews from families. Take individual reviews with perspective - people often review when very happy or very upset, not when things are just okay - but patterns in multiple reviews tell you something useful.

Visiting Ridgegate Home in Reigate

We know that choosing a care home is one of the most difficult decisions you'll make. At Ridgegate Home, we actively encourage families to ask difficult questions, visit multiple times, and take time to decide whether we're the right fit.

You're welcome to visit at different times of day without appointments - drop in during breakfast, lunch, or tea and see us at our most ordinary. Speak to our residents and their families. Ask our staff anything you want to know. Look at our CQC report and ask us about areas where we're working to improve.

We've been caring for elderly residents in Reigate since 1946, and we know that transparency builds trust. We'd rather you make an informed decision than rush into something that's not right for your parent.